Keywords

bipolar type 2, mental health, poetry, essays, nerodivergent, disorder

Abstract

Capsule of the Caterpillar is a multi-genre collection consisting of hybrid poetry, personal essays, and vignettes of prose which thread together the mental health journey of the speaker as a belatedly diagnosed neurodivergent with ADHD and Bipolar Type II. The main thread highlights the relationships which influenced this journey of self-discovery, treatment, and reorganization of the self. This collection is divided into four arcs which build upon the speaker’s inner and outer world. The poems “Stage Larva,” “Stagnant as Larva,” “Stage Pupa,” and “Reshaped as Pupa” thread throughout the collection to highlight the mental epiphany at the epitome of “Dear To T, I Don’t Want to Know You Anymore”; the prose vignettes of “The Moments to Question the Masks Made by Media” highlight the aftermath of their social awareness through relationships and movies relative to mental health in horror. The first arc revolves around self-awareness in its presence and absence within the speaker, with the essay “Antichrist vs Aswang” exemplifying an aware speaker after diagnosis and the poems like “Stage Larva” exemplifying an oblivious or in- denial speaker before diagnosis; these explore the speaker’s inner world interacting with their outer world, their continuous conflicts and influences upon each other, and how their lore began. The second arc spins around the denial, conflicts, doubts, and fears of the speaker manifesting on the pages as they attempt to make sense of their diagnosis; this arc represents the months of rumination after diagnosis. The third arc digests and focuses on auto-fictional relationships in the past, present, and future with how the diagnosis has influenced them and acknowledged their doubts and delusions. The fourth arc breaks apart from the rest as it bursts to reiterate the first poem letter and the consequences of their diagnosis in their relationships.

Completion Date

2024

Semester

Summer

Committee Chair

Thaxton, Terry

Degree

Master of Fine Arts (M.F.A.)

College

College of Arts and Humanities

Department

English

Degree Program

Creative Writing

Format

application/pdf

Identifier

DP0028575

URL

https://purls.library.ucf.edu/go/DP0028575

Language

English

Release Date

8-15-2029

Length of Campus-only Access

5 years

Access Status

Masters Thesis (Campus-only Access)

Campus Location

Orlando (Main) Campus

Accessibility Status

Meets minimum standards for ETDs/HUTs

Download

Restricted to the UCF community until 8-15-2029; it will then be open access.

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